Maribyrnong Today...

well, it's saturday evening and I find myself sitting on my couch after a hectic week. today, i went to maribyrnong to see some people there - one guy whose case I've taken on as part of my internship / volunteer stuff in the legal department at the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre, and a few other guys who I've been visiting for a while.

I saw my friend S in detention today. He looked absolutely terrible. He's pale and drawn, and he looks... shocking.

He's not eating, he's not sleeping. He's on medication but it doesn't help. He has really no reason to get out of bed.

I said to him, "wow... you look terrible... is there anything i can do for you?". he looked away and his eyes reddened and filled with tears. he didn't answer me for a while, just shook his head and tried to hold it together. eventually he looked back at me and repeated the question... "what can you do for me...?" he said "i don't know, jess. just keep coming to see me. that's all that matters".

he's a young guy - in his 20s. he used to look kind of ok, he used to be alright, but my goodness. today he was just really, really bad. i'm going to burn him some music, and see him again in a few days. outside of that, i'm completely powerless. i hate it.

i don't really know what the point of this post is except for if anyone is reading this who wonders what is the POINT is of visiting. well... there is one! please, if you want to visit, just let me know and i would LOVE you to come and visit the detention centre.

sometimes it completely scares me how slack i can be. can't be bothered visiting sometimes, hardly ever ring during the week... but every time i visit i get a stronger and stronger desire to visit more often. but then that desire gets lost in the mess of the week, and i just get too busy. sometimes i even get too distracted with the theoretical and conceptual (campaigns, writing, law reform etc) and place a lower emphasis on the grass roots, hands-dirty, real human people who are locked up. it's crazy! it's definitely not that i don't care. i think i just underestimate the value of visiting, the value of sitting with someone and talking with them for a couple of hours in a place where nobody else will listen. i must remind myself that my ears represent a lifeline, and a conduit through which their voices may be heard beyond the 15-foot steel pickets of the detention centre.

this is the point where policy doesn't matter any more. i have never experienced anything LESS 'political' than visiting a detention centre. they don't want to hear about how upset i am about what's happening to them (do i really think i could be more upset about it than they are?!). i leave my anger towards the Government, my frustration at the system, my understanding of the issues, ideas for improving the policy and all of that other superfluous stuff at the door to the visits centre. for a few hours, it's completely irrelevant. the visit is a time to touch base with the completely human side of the whole disastrous mess, meet people exactly where they are at, and it's the time when i'm reminded of the reasons that it's important to keep fighting until every last asylum seeker is out of detention. i very much look forward to the day that i never walk through those stinking gates again, but until there is nobody left to visit, that day is not yet on the horizon.

sometimes i think i shouldn't post when i'm feeling reflective...! but i just hate hate HATE visiting detention centres. and i'm so MAD that some clueless, bigoted suits in in their plush offices in Canberra have arranged things so that my friends' lives are wasting away to nothing while i sit on an uncomfortable plastic chair - utterly powerless - drinking bad coffee and watching my friends slowly lose their will to live.